hold onto me, star-crossed lover
by savedbybelle
Summary: Santana Lopez doesn't do weakness; it just so happens that having feelings for her two best friends takes a toll on her emotions. But when neon blue hair and an electric personality come her way and catch her interest, how will she be able to deny that she's actually a giant softie at heart?


**A/N: So this is my first time actually writing something that isn't music lyrics. I am in love with Dantana and wish that Glee would've taken a better direction with them. I know it's not likely so here I am. I'm shooting for about 7-10 chapters before this is finished, and I already know I'm going to procrastinate on them (just a heads up), but I hope you'll bear with me on this.**

**Characters aren't mine, blah blah blah.**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

The first thing Santana wakes up to on Sunday morning is a pounding headache and a killer hangover. The sounds of Kurt and Rachel shuffling around the kitchen throb in her ears as she tries to remember why she feels like shit.

_Ding!_

Santana groans as she reaches for her phone to check her text messages. Her notifications tell her that she has six unread messages, all from Quinn and Brittany. Now she remembers why she drank so much. She suddenly feels the urge to vomit as she thinks about what happened the previous night.

* * *

_Santana sighs in defeat at the computer screen._

_"I'm sorry, Santana," Brittany says. She has tears in her eyes and even though Santana hates the way things have been between them lately, she can't stay mad at her best friend._

_"I know Britt…"_

_"I'll talk to you soon," is the last thing Santana hears before Brittany ends the Skype call._

_Ever since Brittany left for MIT, the two had trouble communicating. After New Directions' Regional's, Santana had no idea where the two stood. She thought she had let go of Brittany after she saw how happy her best friend was with Sam at Mr. Schue's wedding, especially since she was having some fun of her own with Quinn. But ever since Brittany's plane to Boston took off, Santana knew she was still in love with the other girl._

**_Ding!_**

_She grabs her phone off of her nightstand. Speaking of Quinn…_

_'__**You should come and visit New Haven soon :)**__'_

_Santana frowns. She doesn't even know what to make of their relationship. Sure, they slept together in a more-than-a-two-time way and they text, call, and flirt regularly, but somehow Santana isn't convinced that it's just innocent flirting on either end._

_But Quinn has always been confusing. And it makes her wary of the butterflies she feels whenever she hears Quinn's voice on the phone or reads a winking smiley face from one of Quinn's texts. She knows she has feelings for Quinn._

**_I'm so fucked. What idiot falls for both of her best friends?_**

_Quinn is so frustratingly straight and, even with her 'experimenting,' she's always been boy crazy. Santana doesn't know whether to scream or cry._

_'__**Kill me now, Q – xo S**__'_

_She presses send, hoping that Quinn will call her back. Lately it seems like Quinn is the only person she wants to comfort her when she's upset._

_She wonders when she became such a little bitch._

_She lies completely still on her bed, staring intently at the ceiling, as if the answers to all of her questions would spell themselves out in the bricks._

_"Santana?"_

_**Great**__, she thinks. __**Like I really need Rachel and Kurt of all people to give me relationship advice. Rachel's had two real boyfriends, one who was a freaking gigolo, and Kurt's relationship with Blaine always somehow fixes itself no matter how much they fuck up**__._

_"Leave me alone."_

_The curtain separating her side of the loft is pulled open and the light of the living room shines brightly behind her roommates' silhouettes._

**_I really need to get my own place._**

_Kurt gently places himself on the corner of the bed and tries to comfort Santana by placing a hand on her arm. All he gets in response is a glare. Rachel is pretty sure she heard Santana growl._

_"Are you okay? "_

**_Ding!_**

_'__**Well I was actually hoping for a yes or a no. I'll call you later and we can talk about what's wrong?**__'_

**_Ding!_**

_'__**Actually, scratch that S. I'm going out with my roommate. Call you tomorrow.**__'_

_Santana groans in frustration and throws her phone across the room. Kurt and Rachel just stare in confusion, never having seen Santana this way before._

_Rachel walks over to the other side of the bed and lies next to her friend, knowing that although Santana will verbally reject them, she actually does appreciate having two people who really care about her._

_Santana takes a deep breath and looks back up at the ceiling. The tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes start to subside as she relishes in her friends' kindness._

_"Brittany chose Sam." The admission shocks the other two. They weren't expecting Santana to actually speak to them. "She said that I have so many more opportunities here in New York and she didn't want to keep me from experiencing life." She speaks in a monotonous tone that makes Rachel wonder how much she's actually hurting._

_"She just wants the best for you, Santana," Kurt tries, shifting on the bed to lie next to her._

_"…I know."_

_It actually scares them how calm Santana seems to be when they know her heart is breaking inside. Rachel and Kurt grab hold of her hands and the three of them lie there on Santana's bed, enjoying the silence and the comfort of having really good friends._

_"And your phone?" Rachel asks after a while, breaking the silence._

_"Quinn."_

_Rachel and Kurt turn their heads expectantly towards Santana, wondering what Quinn could have said to upset her so much. She doesn't even bat an eyelash at their puzzled looks._

_"I know you two get on each other's nerves all the time, but I still don't understa-"_

_"We slept together."_

_"You what!?" Rachel shrieks. Kurt's jaw drops before he twists his face in disgust._

_"It was a one-time thing at Mr. Schue's wedding. Well, sort of."_

_"Too much information…" Kurt mumbles under his breath._

_"Whatever. It's not even important…" Santana's gaze hardens as she takes a sharp breath. __**I knew you two wouldn't understand**__. Her hands are still in Rachel and Kurt's and she tries to pull away, causing the other two to just tighten their grip._

_"Santana." She doesn't like the questioning way Rachel says her name. "Do you, um…you know, have feelings for Quinn as well?"_

**_Goddammit._**

_She closes her eyes and stays silent, only squeezing her friends' hands in confirmation. She doesn't think she can say it aloud. Kurt and Rachel look at each other knowingly and sit up, still holding on to Santana's hands._

_"I know exactly what you need!" Kurt exclaims with a mischievous smile on his face._

_"If it's one of your movie musical marathons please to god, no. I cannot deal with anything gayer than I am right now." Rachel just smiles and pulls Santana off of the bed as Kurt skips into the kitchen._

_Santana can't help the smile on her face as her friends pull out everything they keep in their liquor cabinet._

* * *

Santana doesn't even check the messages before she clicks her phone shut and tosses it back on the nightstand. She sits up carefully, feeling even more nauseous than before.

The sun shines brightly through her curtains and she figures she might as well get up and try to enjoy the warmth of the spring sun.

"I'm going to kill you two," Santana threatens lightly as she walks into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table. "Once this hangover is gone, you two better run for your lives."

Rachel just laughs as Kurt places a plate of bacon and eggs in front of each seat.

"Empty threats will get you nowhere, Satan."

"And it's too much of a beautiful day for you to kill us today," Rachel says, beaming.

Santana smiles despite her efforts to seem threatening. _It is a beautiful day_. She decides to spend the day marathoning movie musicals with her roommates while texting the two girls she can't get her mind off of.


End file.
